Fr. Larry Swink talked on " How to be a Navy Seal Parent."
He used the acronym SEAL as follows:
S= Seek ye first the Kingdom of God.
Prayer has to be a priority. The material and corporal things are not as important as spiritual things.
(I came in a few minutes late and this is all I got on this section!)
E=Engage your children in discipline.
We are to make Obedience easy and natural for our children. Do not let them leave home with an
attitude of " Now I am out from under your dictatorship."
Don't NAG
Don't use cruel and harsh punishment- it should always fit the crime.Don't let punishment be more about
our own emotions and moodiness.
Pick your battles and stick with them.
Do not show partiality among the kids.
Don't neglect them. Try to eat the main meal as a family.
Children want to be able to Speak and be Listened to.
Live with Sobriety and Austerity. Learn to say No to yourself often.
You do NOT need to put your children through college. Make them WORK for it and EARN it.
(I was very surprised to hear a very loud burst of applause at this. Although Larry and I feel this way,
I expected that most of these other parents didn't).
A=Avoid Compromising Situations
Don't allow the television to bring Impurity into your home.
Mother Theresa called the TV the Devil's Tabernacle and there is the temptation to be in "Adoration"
of it many hours of the day.
L= Learn to Keep your Relationship Alive
Don't argue in front of the kids.You make them suffer and they take sides in it.
The marriage comes first and then the kids.The Husband loves the wife, the Wife respects the Husband.
Do not give yourself to other things so much that you have nothing left for yourself or your spouse.
Continue to go on Dates after you are married!
The next speaker I listened to was also a priest, Fr. Edward Hathaway. His talk was entitled " John Paul II and The Family". JPII wrote a document 30 years ago, called " Familiaris Consortio". The document teaches about the mission of the family and its tasks and Fr.Hathaway discussed how we are living it out.
The Tasks of the Family according to Blessed John Paul II are fourfold. I will mention Fr.'s points (as I understand them) in regard to each task.
1) To Form a Community of Persons.
We need to recapture the family meal and how we are living our Sundays.
We can only reach fulfillment by giving ourselves in LOVE .
We don't earn God's love- it is a free and unconditional gift and that is what we need to see in the family.
We cannot live without love.
The marriage is indissoluble.
Don't get lost in the children so much that you neglect your spouse.
Our culture battles between the Feminized Man and the Machismo ( over testosteroned, beer drinking,
sports watcher). Jesus was the perfect man..
With Discipline, be firm but kind. There is no excuse for bad manners ( especially from the parents).
Try to meet the needs of the elderly within the Family.
2) To Serve Life
Spouses sanctify each other by their faults and by their good example.
(I am not sure if there was no more to this section or that I was so intently listening that I forgot to take notes here.)
3) To Participate in the Development of Society
Socialization begins in the family.Take your time and raise good children.
Go beyond the family to help the poor and needy. Family love should go beyond blood.
Get involved in politics to make sure that laws support and defend family life.
The family should help to sanctify the temporal culture.
The Family is the cell of society. If the family is dysfunctional, society will also be dysfunctional.
4)To Participate in the Life of the Church
We need to keep learning our Faith. Be part of a Parish! In this way, we are connected to the Pastor,
Bishop and Pope.
The family is the first Seminary. Try to raise good Christians.
The Eucharist is the Source of Christian marriage.
Have mercy within the family. Forgiveness heals and soothes.
The Family that Prays Together, Stays together! After dinner, perhaps.
Pray the Daily Rosary for Graces which bring Peace to the family.
Do 1 Hour of Eucharistic Adoration per week and take turns with it within the Family.One week the
parents, the next the Mom and a child, the next the Dad with a child, the next the older kids, etc.
Think about how we are living Sunday in our families.
Develop the Culture as a family.
Evangelize as a Family.
Fr. Hathaway emphasized that these principles are not new- but that we should look at how we are following them.
In my next post, I will continue this discussion and highlight the main points of the other speakers that I heard at the conference.
