Let Me Know If There Is Anything I can Do ....

I have spoken these words before to someone who has suffered a loss. The last few days have shown me that although the thought is sweet, it probably won't result in actually having to do anything. In the future I will be more aware that it is a much better idea to just go ahead and DO it.These are some of the ways in which our friends and family have participated in honoring my mother-in-law who died a few days ago.A number of these people were never lucky enough to meet her but did something concrete to help out because they cared about my husband and his family in his time of loss. Tim and Kristy offered to make a casserole.Then they went home , made it in an hour and delivered it back to Mom and the girls that night. It was eaten that night and it fed Mom and her visitors the next day at noon.We finished it and that was the last food that Mom ate on this earth. She died that afternoon.
            While Mom was being brought home with Hospice and we knew that she was dying, my Mom arranged with her family to provide plenty of food for her reception whenever that might be. This is a huge help to me and allowed my extended family to be a part of burying this woman whom they have known and cared about and seen at my family functions for 27 years. This also emphasizes the idea that when I got married, two families were united.Which is exactly why it was so sweet of my new daughter-in-law's parents to have sent over that yummy homemade chicken salad ,rolls and pound cake pictured above.
             We have all been so touched to receive the fun and thoughtful fruit bouquet that was chock full of fresh cut melons, strawberries, grapes and oranges that was delivered by the cutest little truck right up the driveway.Some very generous friends sent it and their hearts for giving make me hope that God will bless them 10 times for all they do for so many people. I took the picture after 16 people had been nibbling on it and we are still eating it up. Part of the mourning process is to be together as a family to plan the service and reconnect. Everyone visits and needs to eat. In the future, I will deliver some food to those in need.

We also experienced the contribution of our younger family members who went through so many pictures to find good ones of Mom when she was happy and loving her family and life. The girls went through many songs to pick ones that reflected Mom's style.

Other people took the time to dress up in uncomfortable dress clothes and came to the wake to pray for Mom and say a little something to the family. This is what is meant by "Suit Up and Show Up." It counts. Just being present or taking the time to make a call shows such an investment of time and self. When it was time to drive someone home, it was remembered that Uncle Dan had volunteered to chauffeur anyone who needed it, so we asked him.The  offer was concrete and specific.I have three Home-schooling sisters who are taking the day off tomorrow to bring their children to my Mother-in-law's funeral. To Bury the Dead is a Corporal Work of Mercy. It is what we are called to do as Christians. I didn't realize that there were so many helpful ways to participate in this act of love and respect for LIFE because this is a journey that we all will make.

This last pic shows Greg and Dad "Seating The Wax Seal".Dad had to do a bunch of Honey-do things in order to prepare for a post funeral luncheon. Greg came over to spend the whole day helping his Dad who had just lost his mother. Everything got done!So what I figured out is- if you think it might help-Do It. It probably will be a bigger help than you realize.