Immaculate Heart of Mary, Homeschool Convention

I almost talked myself out of going to my favorite, annual Homeschool Convention because they changed their location requiring a longer drive. I am glad that I did go and thought that I would share some of the highlights as I understand them from the speakers that I was privileged to hear.

The first speaker that I heard was Dr. Ray Guarendi. He is a psychologist and a homeschooling father of ten adopted children. He is also an author of many books and a stand-up comedian who has been on many national TV and radio shows. He is hilarious! His main point, which he illustrates through one funny example after another, is that parents these days are way too lenient! He says that lectures don't work. When a kid misbehaves, he needs to do one to two hours of forced manual labor ( chores)! He emphasized that parents control the electrical outlets, the rides to activities, dessert and many other things that they should remove the minute they get some grief or attitude from youngsters. Today's kids do not have the same respect for their parents' authority that we did.   We can gain it back by a lot less talk and a whole lot more action. Remove every privilege and make their life very Spartan-like instead of the "cushy" life most kids enjoy and stick to it until the attitude changes.

For those with adult children who leave the Faith, it isn't surprising. Our Culture is toxic and we swim in the culture. He emphasized that some of our kids will serve the church and others will serve time! It's just the way it is. Jesus couldn't get most people to follow Him even though he is God so what do we expect? We can't even do a card trick much less miracles! He said that you can be a much better example of our Spiritual Faith  by getting along well with difficult family members than by knowing all about the Saints but acting like a jerk. It is more important to LIVE the Faith than just teach it.
 I later went to his talk entitled " Lessons From Life From Children". This was as funny as his earlier talk. He delivers a great message while keeping the audience rolling! He first pointed out that as parents we tend to ask how our kids how they are and they no sooner open their mouths then we launch into our lectures.
He called women "Estrogen Americans" and said that there is one thing that men hate to hear. That is, "I think we need to talk" which, he said, is code language for " Do you have an hour because I'm going to tell you everything that's wrong with you..."!

He stated that one of the main things that he is hearing on his radio call-in show and in talking to people is that women are THE authority figure in their homes. Disney Dad wants to be Mr. Good-Times who is laid back and oblivious to what is going on. They seem to be only along for the ride. They say to the kids "Do what your mother tells you. I do what your mother tells me. Why else do you think I'm still alive???" lol. Most men wouldn't let anybody else talk to their wives the way their kids talk to her all day long! He said that a husband needs to PROTECT her from this!  He mentioned that she will feel very romantic towards him if he would protect her from the kids ganging up on her. He used to slip his sons a couple of bucks to get sassy with her so he could step in to save the day!
Women are in the trenches. Dad gets out and about in the world and is able to keep his sanity a little longer! It's no wonder that she is no longer the girl he married! He said the worst thing that Dad can say is, "If it were up to me I'd let you, but your mother...." Husbands shouldn't make their wives out to be the crazy, unreasonable one, the Bad Guy.

Parents always want to know "why" a kid does what he does. " What is in his mind?" they wonder. He said that we don't have to know why, we just have to DO something about the behavior. Behavior change is a slow, agonizing process. It is an uphill slog. The measure of a saint is in his or her  PERSEVERANCE. Human change is to persevere over a long period of time. You don't rest until you get to Heaven!
 Dr. Guarendi has a DVD of many of his skits on the topic of "Why Be Catholic?" He left the church for 10 years and was very active in another one before returning. I am told that like his talks, his DVD is  hilarious- delivering a great message while making you laugh your head off. I purchased this and am looking forward to watching it with my family.

The next talk I attended was given by Fr. Sean Kopczynski which was called " The Book of Tobias: Changing the World Through Our Children". He obtained a post-graduate degree in Engineering before becoming a priest. His was a serious talk on the book of Tobias and all of the fore-shadowing in it of the marriage between Christ and His Church. One thing that he said that hit me was that parents are off in "Church meetings" while their family is back at home by themselves. He emphasized that the Ten Commandments are written in solid rock for a reason.

Much of his talk was on the Fourth Commandment, "Honor Thy Father and Mother." He believes that many of our problems today can be traced to a disregard for this commandment. Charity begins at home. There should be Kinship at home. It shouldn't be an empty place with what we consider "real life" going on outside of it. The Church defends the family as the core of the social order. Commandment 4 leads the rest of the Social Commandments (5-10). We should be good children and good parents.

Filial Piety helped China to maintain its' Social order for a millenium! Mao tse Tung ushered in communism and was responsible for many deaths. He was a man who hated his father, as did Stalin.
When you split the family, it is like splitting an atom- tremendous pressure and an explosion results. Destructive passions are released. As the family goes, so goes the parish, the church and society.

We should have Masses said for our children and should remove every occasion of sin from our homes. He said that we should never underestimate the power of the Devil. If we don't ask for help from above then we won't get it.
He recommended that we read the Book of Tobias which he said captures most of Salvation History and mentions every level of creation. There are angels, men, birds,dogs,fish, and the demon. It is a story of Heaven and Hell meeting on Earth in a battle for Marriage. He went on to list all the "typeography" from this book.

We should pray to God for discernment in choosing a marriage partner. We need to make sure. In Tobias, the marriage was between two people from the same "tribe." By choosing someone from the same religion, one can pass on the fullness of the Faith in its wholeness-without having it watered down. It is difficult to do this when one parent is struggling against the other.

The Devil hates the institution of marriage. He destroys peace in marriage and sows division. The "head" of the family should be the father and the "heart" the mother. Christ and His Church form an indissoluble bond, like marriage. The Mass is a pleasing odor to God. The devil was smoked out of there (in the book of Tobias). Be married in front of the altar in church, he said. Good families help to make good marriages.
Keep the observance of Sunday rest.The example of parents is super important! Parents should show a good example even when it costs them.The role of the parents cannot be replaced.

The next speaker that I enjoyed listening to was Mr. Dale Ahlquist who spoke on "The Basic Brick for Building a Civilization." He is the president of the American Chesterton Society which propagates the writings of the great philosopher and convert to Catholicism, G.K.Chesterton. I heard this gentleman last year and was intrigued by his knowledge of Chesterton's writings which Ahlquist believes are prophetic. The basic brick that he is talking about is of course, the family.
The world, he says, is the family on a larger scale. We have to live our lives everyday with the people we live with. The attack on the family began with the attack on marriage and on babies. We are undermining our own foundation.
The object of Liberty is Life. The pursuit of happiness is not the pursuit of pleasure. The pursuit of pleasure tends to be the pursuit of unhappiness.
Life, liberty and happiness is found in the HOME. More and more, we are leaving our homes. The family is where life is found. The family is a Kingdom founded on Love which creates its own citizens.
The individual is not the basic unit of society- the family is. Anything that attacks the family is bad for society. A civilization that attacks the family will not survive. The family will outlive it. There is constant cultural pressure on fathers and mothers. Sexual morality has decayed tremendously.

Chesterton had a lot to say about economics, says Ahlquist. Our present economy is proof that massive lending and spending cannot be sustained which is why it is falling apart. We are developing an industrialized consumeristic family. Our work, recreation and education are taking place outside of  the home. The home should be the center of that stuff. We should be a productive household instead of a consumeristic one. The kitchen, workshop and garden of the home used to take care of almost everything it needed. For 1500 years, that was how life was lived. Children were the primary ASSETS of the home! In the 1920's consumerism took over and parents wanted to be amused and have amusements. Today retailers are going out of business because there are not enough people to buy what they have to sell.
He said ( I am not sure if he got this from Chesterton or if this was his personal opinion) that today a college education is the most over- priced and over-rated product  for sale out there. Parents scrape and sacrifice to provide it and find their children coming home to refute everything they ever taught them.
 The predicted Population Bomb has turned out to be the exact opposite of all the warnings. When Social Security started, there were 15 workers for every elder it supported. Today there are three workers for each elder and in the future there will only be two workers to support each elder receiving it.
 The financial center of our country used to be New York. Now it is Washington, D.C. where they are trying to solve our borrowing problems by more borrowing.
Pope Leo the 13th talked about the idea of "Distributism" which Chesterton believed in. Families need to be more autonomous and independent in taking care of their own needs. There needs to be a "Bottom Up " solution to our problems. The solution needs to be done "by "people, not "to" people.

We are witnessing in our society the natural consequences of unnatural actions which is the result of  the devaluation of children.
When things fall apart, The Family and the Church will still be here. We continue to drift away from the hearth and the family.
Civilization decays by forgetting the ordinary things. Modern life exerts great strain and stress on the family. People no longer value normal things and our structure is falling apart.

The last talk that I attended was given by Steven Weidenkopf, a History buff and college professor, who discussed "The Cross and the Crescent". This lecture was about the naval battle of Lepanto which took place on October 7, 1571. This was a struggle between the Ottoman Turks, a fierce and savage Islamic fighting force and the Christian West. The Christians were led by Don Juan of Austria, only 24 years old at the time. This battle was described by Cervantes, who fought in it and later wrote "Don Quixote", as " The greatest day's work seen for centuries". Don Juan told his men that they were to Conquer or Die and to Do Their Duty This Day. To be taken prisoner was to be savagely and inhumanly tortured which was what these Turks were known for. The bottom line is that this young naval commander revolutionized sea warfare by mounting his canons on the sides of his ships rather than just at the bow ( I don't know if this means front or back!). Every sailor was given a rosary and received general absolution before the battle. By the power of The Rosary,  many believe that the winds miraculously changed and the Turks were soundly defeated. This led to the saving of the city of Rome and ultimately, Christendom. The Church still remembers this battle and what it meant by observing the Feast of Our Lady of The Rosary on October 7th each year.

After one of the last talks, they announced the winner of the door prize which happened to be me! This large painting of Saint Anne with the young Mary is now hanging in our living room. She is the grandmother of Jesus and I am enjoying meditating upon that as I sit in my chair in the mornings.